Monday, July 13, 2015

How to Stop Prostituting Yourself

I bet you can’t imagine you have anything in common with a “lady of the evening.”

But actually, all of us are very similar. We’re all negotiating faith and our choices as part of our journey on planet Earth, with the power of one very simple question.

“How much can you be bought, in exchange for security?”

You don’t have to be a real life call girl to trade personal power for financial safety. Everyone feels the tension between their soul’s calling versus survival.  Everyone feels the dance of wondering how much faith they have to go for the unknown, when there is no guarantee of success.

Here's a case of me working with a real life prostitute and see where you might relate. How have you sold yourself short in exchange for safety?. There’s no judgement in it, just notice it. That’s the first step. By just noticing, you’ll see opportunities for deepening in faith to find courage to make different choices and pursue a life that is truly your own.

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I'd like you to meet "Karen". At first, you may think you have absolutely nothing in common with her. What could you possible have in common with someone like her? But upon second thought, maybe you can also see how we all face similar issues with choice, faith and trusting the unknown.

The first time Karen bounded into my office, I knew immediately that she had an addictive personality. People with addictive personalities tend to grab on to things and take them to extremes, whether it be with substances, emotions, ideas or even spiritual practices. Karen's aura was extremely wide and uneven. It took up the whole room. It also had a frantic quality, an uncontrolled brightness that I knew was unsustainable. It was a bit like how you might feel after staring too much into the sun and feeling your eyes start watering and seeing shadows in the light.

Karen spoke of feeling “stuck” inside, of being unable to sleep. Constipation was a problem, as were chronic female-related infections. Her lower back and hips always ached, partly from pole dancing so much, and her diet was awful.

Although she was beautiful and keenly intelligent, Karen's energy felt isolated, exhausted and lonely to me. Her auric field was so discombobulated that it felt like she was constantly in my lap, energetically, just begging to be seen. Addicts often have a certain lack of boundary like that. I could also feel Karen's frantic, desperate way she was trying to connect with the Divine.Within all of that scorching, platinum-like brightness, however, I saw wide gaping holes in her aura. It told me she was probably hyper-sensitive and overly empathic to other people in a way that debilitating for her. I could see she was psychically gifted, but I also noticed how she was barely in her body. It was as if being on planet Earth was very hard for her. Most of her energy was completely outside of her body. I saw almost nothing in the 1st chakra, and the 2nd chakra was totally frozen, like the Alaskan tundra, and then there was a ton of light outside her head.

As she spoke, I kept feeling like I was watching one of the older model TVs that would display a snowy screen when a channel wasn’t broadcasting. It was all too much, too fast, too bright and about to blow out.

Karen thought she was there for me to clear her "negative energy." But I knew our journey would be more than that. I also had the distinct feeling that this was literally going to be a do-or-die situation for her, that there was a lot on the line. It kept me very focused.


Karen began to share her story. For over 15 years, she had been wroking as a stripper in a local adult entertainment club. And although she never told me directly, I knew that she also worked as a "professional girlfriend." Growing up, Karen had had little contact with her father. Her mother struggled with serious drug addiction, and Karen had been raised through the foster care system. She had a teenage son she was supporting on her own, a younger brother who was still in the foster care system, and she had recently broken off a dysfunctional romantic relationship.

She was so blown out in the upper regions of her energy field that I knew the last thing we needed was to talk about guides, past lives and the angelic realms. Although I knew that was she wanted to talk about, I knew it wouldn't be helpful.

I would have to find a different opening.

So I closed my eyes, and went deep into her field to get a sense of the energy with which she was living her life.


Immediately, I found myself transported into the adult club scene where she worked. I felt the blast of toxic energy. First it was the drugs. They were everywhere – in the bathroom, in the club patrons, in the dancers, in Karen. Then I felt the alcohol. Then the overwhelmingly invasive energy coming from the men who watched her dance.

Worst of all, I could see that in her work, people actually touched her in the most invasive, violating ways. I was appalled.

My head began to ache, as if I somehow couldn’t get enough oxygen even though the club wasn’t overly crowded. I wanted to get out but it was as if something kept me there, that on some level, I didn't feel physically unsafe. But I did feel extremely emotionally unsafe.

And the most painful thing was the emptiness I felt, the yearning for safety and emotional connection.

It was obvious how much what Karen did for a living was costing her. It was overwhelming her nervous system. It was wrecking her health.

Karen was nonchalant about it all. It was fine, just a job, she explained. And it paid well.

Really well.

I almost couldn't hear what she was saying, I was so engrossed in her field. Most people, in order to survive toxic environments, instinctively shut down their energy fields for protection. But Karen was walking around like an energetic sponge, without any ability to create protective boundaries And that was probably one reason why she was using narcotics.

I felt compelled to state the obvious.

“Karen, you are too sensitive to be doing this kind of work." I said. "You know that, don’t you?”

She shrugged. It was all she had known since she was 17 years old. She said she planned to leave, just not now. Maybe after a couple more years. &n

I couldn't see her lasting that long, and I told her as such. And I meant that literally.

She shrugged again and replied that she couldn't see herself holding a regular job. Nothing she could find would pay anything close to what she was making, she declared. She had a son to support. On top of it all, she wanted to buy a home by the end of the year.

She went on to tell me she was just 3 credits shy of a Bachelor's degree, but just didn't feel motivated enough to finish (to which I wanted to just slap my forehead). She also informed me that she was a licensed massage therapist. But even that seemed like too much work for the money, considering how much she was able to make at the club.

I decided to forgo deeper discussions for another time. I was worried about her energetic state. It was all I could do to just do a deep scrub of her entire energy field. It was absolutely clogged with foreign debris. I kept removing layer and layer, only to find more. But it was a start, and by the time Karen left, I, on the other hand, felt like I had been through a sauna.


One week later, Karen returned feeling markedly better. Beaming, as a matter of fact. Charged and energized. 

In our conversation this time, she let me know she was also using drugs. I didn't tell her that I already knew that, having seen it her field.

“But I only use a quarter pill at a time,” she said. “I need it to feel normal. Otherwise, my anxiety gets out of control and I can't work.”

I was sad that this bright and beautiful woman was doing something so self-destructive. I did what I could, clearing what I could, the feeling of energetic violation I kept getting in the 2nd chakra, the mottled dark blue clutter and debris in her aura, the complete shut down in her life force, that blitzy feeling of addiction, and the escape into the higher realms at the expense of her physicality.

The topic of her townhouse came up again. She told me how much more she needed to make the down payment, and I was astounded at the price point she was looking at. Not exactly a starter home. I also noticed that the main energy behind why she wanted it was the yearning to be seen as "normal" by everyone else. She wanted to live like "professional"people, in a respectable upscale neighborhood and not be treated less-than anymore.

Yet her finances were a complete mess. Considering how much she made, she had little to show for it. The more she made, the more she spent, and that only made her pressured to dance even more.

If she could just get healthier first, that is, since her body was breaking down, and could I please help her with that?

To Karen, it was all a reasonable trade-off. Yes, of course there were physical, emotional and spiritual issues, she said. No one actually likes doing what she does for a living. But it was that way with everyone in her industry, so it seemed normal. These pains were just inconveniences to be managed. A cost of doing business, if you will.

But somehow I knew, deep down, that Karen really wasn't OK with all of this. Else, her spirit wouldn't have nudged her to work with me. She would have left after one appointment. On some level, her soul knew she needed someone to help take a stand for the part of herself she was selling out for security.

Over the next few months, Karen and I worked to help her feel through her fear that drove her entire situation to begin with. Many people get so overwhelmed by their feelings and can't really move in any way at all. By gently stepping through what she was really feeling, Karen began to calm down. This, on top of the deep energetic repair work, helped her stomach and shoulder pain.

There were numerous traumas from the past to move through, as well as the sadness over the relationship which had ended. That and the "professional girlfriend" work all tied in to her need to use narcotics. We went to work straight away on that. ( I also insisted that she get standard medical addiction treatment. No small feat, considering that she was, in my opinion, quite addicted.)

Since she continued to dance, every time she came back in, I had to clear the energetic mess off her field again. But on top of that, I had two objectives. One was to help her identify and neutralize the emotional triggers that were making her use narcotics. The other was to clear up some of the spiritual confusion in her field. There were plenty of issues to clear. A childhood of having been abused certainly didn't help, and neither did the fact that Karen's entire social support system was comprised of people doing the same thing she was. I knew some of these wounds were something no medical approach could ever address. I encouraged Karen to seek out a 12 step Narcotics Anonymous program, but she refused. She felt that was only for "real addicts" and she didn't want to be around "those people".

It was gentle and supportive work for someone who had never had anyone in her corner in her whole life.

Gradually she was able to imagine that maybe a different future for her and her son might be possible. Not easy, of course, but possible. 

At some point, it dawned on me that everything we were working on centered around the Prostitute energetic archetype. I was literally helping a real life prostitute move through the Prostitute archetype.

For those of you who are unfamiliar with the Prostitute archetype, it is a spiritual concept that was coined by Caroline Myss in her book, "Sacred Contracts".

Energetic archetypes are patterns of energy going on in the collective subconscious. They aren't really personal energies, and they aren't good or bad in of themselves. They are neutral. But they hold a lot of personal power for us, when we know how to use them.

Basically, the Prostitute archetype asks us: how much of your integrity, ethics, morals, word and behavior are you willing to give away, in exchange for survival and financial security?

Every human on planet Earth has to dance with this archetype. It shows up most clearly when people are doing jobs they hate for the money, or caught in marriages that are primarily about financial security. But it also permeates so much of our lives in so many ordinary, subtle ways.

In Karen's case, it was literal, in terms of what she did for a living. It was noticeable in how she justified what she had to do, even though it was wrecking her health. Everything she did, from the home she wanted to buy, the clothes she bought, what she said to people and what she didn't, why se needed to use narcotics, it was all run by the need for financial security.

But this is no different than the same fears everyone goes through, when they negotiate away their personal power in exchange for financial security.

This is a much easier energy to see in others than in ourselves. We don't all have to be real life prostitutes to dance with the pressure to go along with things because we're afraid of what might happen to our livelihood security if we don't. It might be looking the other way regarding unethical practices at work. Or when a spouse is cheating. Or when champion ideas that we don't really believe in, in order to fit in with our tribe.

Prostitute requires us to look at our choices. Where have you made decisions in your life to manage the desire for security and survival? How did it affect your course of study in school, your career choice? When have you held back saying what you really felt, so as not to upset your standing with someone else? How has this archetype influenced where you decide to live, the friends you associate with, etc?

Through just being aware of this archetype, the grace of the Prostitute reveals itself in the gifts of faith and choice. What kinds of choices have you been making, out of a desire to stay secure, respected and safe? How deep is your faith to pursue what is true to you, when there is no guarantee of success? With faith, there's a sense that one can take care of oneself, of being connected to something greater. We can make choices of courage. Without faith, at some point, there will always be a price where one negotiates away personal power in exchange for material survival. We make choices that sell us short.

With Karen, she started to ponder what her next steps could be. Would it be finishing school to get that degree that could change her life? Would it be leaving the life as a "professional girlfriend" and dancer? Going clean with drugs?

These were difficult questions for Karen. Change didn't happen overnight. But they did happen.

I am pleased to report that as of this writing, Karen has left the adult club industry. She has cleaned up her diet, started exercising, and is pursuing a new career as a music producer. Understandably, she still fights the desire to use drugs.  Her lifestyle is much more financially modest than before. Sometimes she is not sure she can make the rent, or the phone gets cut off, and providing for her son is a struggle. But she stays committed to herself.  She is truly an inspiration for everyone of what is possible when we work with the Prostitute archetype.

What do you think? I welcome your comments!

Adele Wang
Certified energy healer and mentor, helping smart, intuitive, perfectionist women create happiness and success in an imperfect world

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